His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
