I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
do nipples grow back?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
