My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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