so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
