I think I died a long time ago.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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