i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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