Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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