What a fucking waste of an outfit
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
