Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
