I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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