operation harelip BJ is a go
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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