Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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