No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't deserve a penis
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
