Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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