if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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