Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
