Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
