I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
