If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
