DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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