I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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