he puts the penis in happiness.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
