Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i think my cat just said my name.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
