I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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