who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
