dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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