Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
