omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
