he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
try to milk me bitch
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