I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize