Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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