it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
