yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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