You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
