mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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