When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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