When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
