weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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