In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
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wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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