Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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