I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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