i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
