he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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