God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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