this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
