Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
