so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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