So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize