There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
