I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Ketchup is God's man juice
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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