I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
