well you can't waste a boner
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
