google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
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And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
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I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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