I molested 6 butterflies tonight
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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