Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
