I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
