i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
