porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
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