Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
