Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
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i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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