I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
