I'm lost and stupid without you.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
