then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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