Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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