Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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