i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
