I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
