I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
