I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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